Looks like The Latent Image is starting to get some readers/ listeners from various places around the world. This is great. I'm very happy to have people from all over the world listening to the show, reading my articles or looking at my pictures. According to my statistics page and according to bandwidth, not how many hits or pages I receive (because I don't know the difference between these or what they really even mean) here is a run down of which countries are viewing my page or downloading my page the most in the month of November. Like I said, this is based on bandwidth coming from that country, because online, bandwidth, like money, talks.
1) USA:
Since this show is coming out of the USA and most of my friends live here it is only natural that the highest bandwidth is from the USA. I know that I am responsible for some of the bandwidth in the USA because I've downloaded each of my podcasts at least twice, just to make sure that they download smoothly and sound ok. Thank you USA and thanx all my friends here in Illinois that have been supporting my show and listening to me and voting for me. If it wasn't for you guys I wouldn't have any votes at all probably!
2) Japan:
The second highest bandwidth surprisingly goes to Japan. People in Japan haven't visited the site or downloaded the episodes half as much as those in the USA but they're still in second place. Also remember that I'm responsible for some of the bandwidth in the USA too. If I lived in Japan, then Japan would have the highest bandwidth. Also I'd probably be a lot different and possibly a lot cooler than I am now. It's really cool that people in Japan listen to the show. I'm not sure if they're American's over in Japan or Japanese people themselves but the numbers don't lie. People in Japan are listening or else their bandwidth wouldn't be so high. Thank you very much Japan. Feel free to tell all of your Japanese friends to listen to me. Thank you for music by Shonen Knife, Anime and Manga. Especially thank you for Vampire Hunter D. Amen.
3) Taiwan:
Now the 3rd place I'm going to give to a country that doesn't necessarily have the highest bandwidth but I know that I'm getting the 3rd most hits from this place. Taiwan, you come in 3rd place. Sorry that you're not second or first, but that's just how it goes. You guys have to listen to the show and someday you too can have a high bandwidth. Unlike Japan, I know why I have a lot of hits from Taiwan and it's all thanx to a very special gal, Gem of the
[Misadventures in Taiwain] podcast/ videocast. She's a celebrity in my eyes and she was kindly enough to put a link to my site on her blog. Thanx a billion Gem! I already have a link to her site on mine over there to the right on the sidebar, but I'll put another one up, just as a thank you. Even though I'm sure that she's not reaping the benefits of a substantial number of hits thanx to me and my link, I leave them up to pay homage to a great podcaster. Yep, that's right, I'm sucking up in order to get another link... No no I'm not. Thank you Taiwan for checking out my site. You should really listen to my podcast, all of you English speaking Taiwanese. I very rarely attempt to speak Chinese on the show and even when I do... I suck at it. I know that English is being taught in Taiwan as early as primary school and since I basically speak English at a primary school level we should get along just fine. I like Taiwan... lotsa good people come from there and I really respect what you guys did with the National party and the Republic of China. Good for you guys. I just hope that you can work out your differences with China peacefully.
4) Great Britain:
Next highest is Great Britain. I can't believe that an English speaking country gets a lower rating than two non-English speaking countries, but I'm not mad about it. Maybe if you start voting for me on
Podcastalley.com you can win my favor. Then again, I can understand how you may not want to after I devulged a dirty piece of your past in Episode 7 with the whole "C.Men in a Jar" fiasco. I don't make the Late Night Radio segments, I just play them. I like Great Britain so dont get me wrong. The Young Ones, Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean), John Cleese (whom my cat Basil is named for), Robbie Williams, Elton John, Irvine Welsh and The Getaway 1 and 2 all come from the UK so I couldn't possibly love you any more. Also I have some friends in England too. The Thornton family who were so very kind to let me stay with them for a week while I was in England live in the town of March in England. I have never known a family so kind and loving before. Really kinda makes me wish I would have come from a halfway normal family... Things would have been a lot different I bet. Thank you Great Britain. Oh yeah, how can I have forgotten to thank you for J.K. Rowling?! Harry Potter 4 is coming out in theaters this weekend in the USA and I couldn't be more excited. Harry Potter 4 is really the one where things start to get awesome.
5) Singapore:
I think you'll all be surprised to hear that Singapore is number 5 on the list of highest bandwidth. At least 1 person in Singapore has downloaded my podcast, thanx man... whoever you are. What did you think of the show? I like Singapore too. I had a friend that lived in Singapore. He grew up there and then moved to Scotland for 5 years so he had this awesome Singapore/ Scottish accent. He's a film major at my school and I think he'll be the next M. Night Shamalan. Just because he reminds me of him. His name is Abalash, look for him in a theater near you.
6) France:
I'll stop at number 6... Number 6 is France. Again... at least 1 person has downloaded or... 2 people have half downloaded one of the Latent Image Podcast episodes in France. Thank you guy or guys. Hope you liked it. I like France pretty much too really. I know a lot of assholes (Bill O'Reilly and most Republicans) don't like France. Fuck you guys! (not you France, the French-hating Republicans). There's nothing wrong with France and I admire you for not joining up in the war in Iraq. What country thinks it's a good idea to send thousands of people over to another country to kill a bunch of other guys in order to satiate their President's ego and then tries to get everyone else involved so that they don't come off looking like such big assholes? Uh... the U.S. does. I'll apologize on behalf of everyone else, France, we're sorry for giving you shit. Thank you for giving us some awesome movies though. Luc Besson is an awesome French director. He did "The Professional" and one of my wife's favorites: "The Big Blue". Also... Audrey Tautou and Virginie Ledoyen are both from France and they are quite possibly the most beautiful women to ever exist. Luc Besson... can you make a movie where Audrey Tautou and Virginie Ledoyen are both rival lesbian contract killers who decide that the only way to solve their differences is to... well [insert dirty sexual things here]
That's it for my top uh... 6 (?) I've had a lot of readers from many many countries this November. European Union... you would have come in number 7 but I had to stop somewhere. 1 person in all of the European Union has downloaded my podcast. Thank you very much.
Since I'm a cynical person, here comes the sad part of the blog post. Even though I've had so many readers/ listeners from all over the world I
STILL have only 14 votes on Podcastalley.com. *Grimaces with indignation* Why?
You know, I wont think any less of you if you vote for me without even listening to the show. My mom did. Just imagine it as being like the blog only 15x's better. That's a lot better, and proven to be so. 15x's is not just an arbitrary number, I assure you. It is factually 1500% better than what I type on the blog and there are sound effects!
-Joe
The Latent Image
